You know I’ve been on Tinder and that I have met a few people. One was the best date of my life and one had the power to drive me crazy in only a few days. But I never went in specifics. Well people brace yourselves, TODAY IS THE DAY! I decided to finally share with you my Tinder date stories. I even decided to make it a full series. You can click on the ‘Tinder’ tag to get all the Tinder related blog posts. I could go in order but I think I will start with the worst. You’ll see it is an AMAZING story.
Now before I start the story let me give you a little bit of context. I am going to talk about the very last guy I decided to meet out off Tinder and when we matched I was already a bit sick of Tinder. so I wasn’t in the mood to talk or meet people but you know, sometimes you swipe just out of boredom. Now let’s begin!
A few days after my birthday, I was swiping left and right and I matched with this guy. He came and talk to me and said « I saw you in the bus! » and my head went straight to ‘OMFG what?’-mode. Spotting colleagues on Tinder was already scary enough but know that someone you don’t know spotted you and tells you « I SAW YOU IN THE BUS » in a scary way (in my head he said it in a scary voice) was top notch creepy.
He then went into specifics stating what bus, what day, around what time with that and that. He definitely spotted me in the bus. I keep going back and forth to his photos but his face was not familiar at all. I couldn’t remember him in any buses I ever taken in my entire life (which usually means he wasn’t good looking enough for me to spot him). But he must saw me because he had all the details were right.
We talked a little bit but not much. He said I had nice eyes and he asked to see me but I made up excuses because I wasn’t in the mood to meet people. I was just there out of boredom.
A few days later I decided to get out of Tinder and gave away my number to a few guys. And honestly I’d rather them have my number where they cannot find much with it instead of my Facebook when you have access to my friends, to my photos, to my likes (you can deduct where people hang out with their likes, at least I know I can!) and a tone of other bullshit that are post daily on Facebook. And You can easily block a number and blocking someone on Facebook could be done but if he already saved all your pictures on his computer or try to add half of your friends/familly members, there is not much you can do about that. No I am not paranoid AT ALL!
I gave him my number and don’t ask why, the only answer I got for you is «2015 is my year of horrible life decision that is it! ». He rapidly texted me asking me if we could meet. I made up another excuse. A week later he asked me again, now how do you say no three times in a row without sounding mean or rude? I don’t know, no one ever taught me that. But I still said no stating that I had no time or money but september would be better (which was true, except for the money thing, every month is a struggle).
Saturday 29th August 2015, he asked again. He said he knew that it wasn’t september yet but his september work schedule will be awfully busy and that he is willing to pay for me and that he really really REALLY wants to get to know me. How do I say no to free stuff? I just can’t! So I accepted to see him on Sunday. On that day, before meeting him I said to Sophie that he was the last guy ever that I will meet out of Tinder. by that time I was so sick of it. And she said to me « maybe he is the one ». Little spoiler here, HE IS NOT THE ONE, SOPHIE, HE IS NOT!!!
I am a very shy person when you don’t know me and him, well him …. There is a fine line between crazy funny and crazy annoying. Now forget about this fine line, he was way too far from it to even realize that there is a line not to cross on the first date. If I had to define his personality with only one word it would be LOUD. Not loud but LOUD. Fortunately for you, this is not twitter so let me add a few words about his personality. I would say awkward, obstreperous, rowdy, very uncomfortable with silence, a little bit racist with a touch of stupidity or lack of education. But he was polite, nice and I guess he had a good heart and good intentions (those are only guesses and honestly, this is only because I at least have to find some good point not to sound mean!). Overall not a bad guy but just overly annoyingly LOUD.
During the date I found out that he actually saw me in the bus before seeing on Tinder. Which means that he did not just saw me on the bus that day. He stared at me, analyzing me from head to toe. Yes you got it C-R-E-E-P-Y! But I guess he was really into me because after matching he asked me out four times in three weeks before I even accept to see him.
So you guessed it, the date was a solid mediocre. Only because at the end of it I couldn’t figure out what to think about him. We texted a few times after that. He ask to see me again and I was like ‘okay let’s go with the flow. We’ll see what happen’. I wanted to give him a chance. You know, the thing people call ‘being nice’.
All of this bring us to the interesting part. The part I like to call …
THE WORST DATE EVER!
Thursday 10th September 2015, we were suppose to meet at 5.30 PM. At 4.30 PM he asked by text if it was okay if one of his friend tag along with him. I hesitated a long time before responding « yeah it’s okay » what I really should’ve texted was « Why do you bring your friend on a second date?!?!?! WTF what is wrong with you? » but that answer wouldn’t brought you this great blog post so the first answer was alright.
We met, he had the same LOUD personality. His friend was better looking than him and looked a bit quieter than him. We took the bus to go for a few drinks. In the bus, I found out that they each already had a liter of beer already and that they intended to at least get 2 more in their stomach before getting to the ‘serious part’. I said right away in an amused tone « I think I will leave at around one liter and a half. I am not here to babysit. » The tone was amused, the reality was that I didn’t sign up for babysitting for real!
We went to the bar I liked the least from that neighborhood. When you say to people « I am down for anything » and they bring you to a place you hate, there is not much place for taking back your words. Is there?
The next two hours was a mix of animal noises (dog, cows, lions and wolf), bad pop songs badly sang, failed attempts to speak foreign languages, life lessons served to you by a 24 year old, loads of ‘you look bored Stef’/’you are boring Stef, you need to learn how to live’ and a hint of racism.
First of all, I was not bored but more annoyed but couldn’t wait to get up and leave. Fortunately, There were not much people there and none of the people I know. I there was a someone I knew, I think I would’ve crawl into the tiniest hole on earth and never leave. Quick advice, If your popularity is not very high to begin with, avoid at all price to hang with that type of people, their are the death of your social life! The popularity killer squad!
Second of all, his friend, let’s call him idiot number two, keep saying that I was not enjoying life, that I should drink more and that I was wasting my life away. While he was saying all of this and trying to teach me his way of life, all I could’ve think was ‘Is that 24 year old dumbass is telling me how to live my life and does he really think that all that life is about is getting drunk?’ and I really wanted to tell him with all the sass in the world: « Son (yes when the age gap is so big you are allowed to call that kind of people SON), all you’ve done, I have done it too. I am not a saint, I am just someone with experiences and dumb stories from too much liquor. I aged and learnt from some of my mistakes. So back off and go back to your mother, she is looking for you! »
He later told me this very interesting story. That day, he was not off, he was pretending to be sick just so he could be drinking all day. But he complain about the place he was working for, saying that he was working too much for 1800€ net a month. Well in my book 1800€ is a good paid check for someone that work as a waiter. For Belgium, this is above the average wage. I always thought that waiters were closer to the minimum wage than above the national average wage.
He then said that he used to work for a restaurant where he was the manager. He was in charge of the register so every bit of money used to come to him first before going into the register. For month where he did not work very hard 1800€ was what he was making and for month where he a worked hard he was at about 2500€ a month. Than he added in a very casual tone « But of course I was making around 5000€ a month because I was stealing from them. » Wait what?!?!?!? How can you casually drop that kind of info to someone you met for the first time. Also who makes 5000€ per month at 23 years old? He was walking away with about 150 extra euros per night in his pocket because he was manipulating the register and getting cold, hard cash in his pocket every single night. He added that all that money was wasted in parties and alcohol.
Oh I see, so Mister life lesson giver is actually a stealing bastard. Bitch please, get out of my way you make me sick. So I had to sit through an hour of drunken life lesson only to find out that you are actually a looser in real life. Dear universe, I think you owe me a massive apology for wasting my time with those two!
During all that conversation the one I was supposed to have the date with, let’s call him idiot number one, was getting drunker by the minute and was staring at every single girl in that bar. No wonder he remembered every detail from the bus, if he was staring at me like he was staring at those girls. He tried to pull me aside to ask me how I felt about him. I had to lie. I couldn’t say I don’t like you right to his face. I am a coward I know, that why they invented texting, for coward like me!
The time where those two idiots ran out of money finally came and they decided to go back home to the ‘serious part’ – their bottle of whiskey. Of course they had to make fun of me by saying I was going back home and getting to bed. I didn’t mind, I was very much looking forward to going back home, after those three horrible hours, that was actually the best part of my night! They went their way and I went back to my place to write this great piece of Tinder history.
When we left idiot number one said « I hope to see you very very VERY soon. ». I replied maybe, we’ll see. Then ran back home. I’m never going to see him ever again! But I have to say I learnt great lessons from that date:
1. Do not take anymore decisions in 2015
2. Tinder is the place where romance go to die
3. Bad experiences make great blog post
4. Anybody who tells you that you’re not doing life right is probably doing worst than you
5. A mediocre first date leave place to improvement but it can also lead to a disastrous second date
Finally, here’s an piece of advice for all the men out there dating or at the beginning of a relationship, hold your liquor until she fall in love. Once she said she loves you, she will be trapped and won’t leave you for drinking too much. But when you are at the beginning of the relationship/still dating chances are she will take her shit and go. Also, for men who are looking to make a girl run away, reverse that advice!
Now THE AFTERMATH …
Friday 11th September 2015, I though I wouldn’t hear about idiot number one for a while. Or maybe an apology. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Here are the texts we sent each other today.
Him: Hello, How are you Stéphanie? I hope we didn’t scare you and that you still had a great night 🙂
Did we not lived the same night? Or you were so drunk that you couldn’t read the body language? Or maybe I was very good at hiding how I felt about you because you should’ve have seen this coming honestly.
Me: Hello! I am fine, how are you? a good night, not really. Let’s say I was happy to get back home.
Him: My head is up my ass … I could’ve seen that you were tired.
Me: No, no trust me I wasn’t tired. Honestly, I’d rather leave things here and not go further with this. We are clearly not going in the same direction in life.
I really thought the message was clear. The night was not good, I don’t want to see you ever again but written in a sensitive way. I didn’t think there were going to be any text after that. WRONG again!
HIm: Ok, what do you mean by that because honestly I don’t understand.
So here comes the time I hate. When you need to justify yourself to someone even though the reason are clear. It’s like stating the obvious. Sometimes when the vibe is not good and when the feelings are not there, why waste your time? At the same time, you don’t want to be mean, you don’t want that person to feel bad about himself and you don’t want to be the bad guy as well. So this was my answer:
Remember when you asked me what kind of person I was, I did not answer at the time because I honestly didn’t know what to answer but I had a good think about it and I think I am the ambitious kind and I think I need someone who is also ambitious or at least someone that will support and push me in every decision I take. I don’t know you but I don’t think you are that kind of person. I don’t know what you are looking for but I don’t think you will find that person in me. I think you have a good heart and that you will find someone.
I tried my best to be nice but clear. I don’t think I will hear from him ever again. I feel bad for the guy, he seemed pretty attached. This is the hard thought world of dating, he will probably get over it.
I will keep you updated if I ever hear from the guy again. Next friday I will tell you about the best Tinder date I have ever had.
If you too had good stories, don’t hesitate to share them with me in the comment bellow or in any of my social media. I’d love to read them.